I missed sending last week’s Laughing Matter and broke my 25 consecutive week publishing streak. Here are some original Dad Jokes for Father’s Day. I hope you love to hate them.
PS: My next performance will be an “Inner Child” show for Keepsake House on Friday, July 19th at 6:30 PM near Washington Square Park. Would love to see you there. Come watch me on stage next month!
What are a chapstick’s favorite flowers?
Two-lips
What does a stick figure say when you ask him for a nude?
He dicklines it
Why was Alexander Hamilton so serious?
Because he was in-tens
Why does everyone hate copycat black & white cookies?
Because they’re not-orious
Do you know why amputees get no gifts from Santa?
Because they weren’t goodie two-shoes
The panel voting on Miss Universe had to pay for the event
They really shouldn’t have a judge book or buy the cover
The cast of Star Wars are taking english proficiency classes
Yoda went to TOEFL with a first aid kit
Tinder published a list of the worst French guys on their app
The list is la-men-table
Why is Elon Musk buying an avocado farm?
Because he has a chip on his shoulder
What’s cheaper than therapy?
An Ozempic prescription for the elephant in the room
PS: To simplify the newsletter, I’ve removed the referral bonus thing. You can share this newsletter with your friends or not, it doesn’t matter.