A rat with gigantic penis was published in a scientific journal
And has been cast as the lead in Magic Mice
Hi I'm Azhar and this is your Laughing Matter - February 26th 2024.
Join me every week for a look back at last week’s headlines paired with a joke that Colin Jost wished he came up with.
Capital One to buy Discover for $35B
But will continue renting Wonder and Amazement
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Scientific journal published an AI-generated rat with gigantic penis
And has been cast as the lead in Magic Mice
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US Ambassador vetoed call for immediate ceasefire in Gaza
Worse, she chanted “WORRRRRRRLDSTARRRR” as she cast her vote
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European satellite falls back to earth after 29 years
Said the satellite, “Space was nice but I’m ready to settle down with a nice rockette and start a family”
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AT&T had a massive 12 hour nationwide outage this week
Causing the expiration of millions of car warranties
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Alabama Supreme Court ruled that IVF embryos are kids
Said the embryos, “Na-uh, I’m too young to die in a mass shooting!”
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SNL’s Jost said:
And that black embryos can be tried as adults
Private US company makes first moon landing in more than 50 years
Unveiling a new frontier for offshore accounting
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Jimmy Kimmel said:
It’s the space equivalent of bell bottoms coming back
Police found $568M of cocaine hidden in bananas
Said marathoners, “so that wasn’t runner’s high?”
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Google apologizes after its AI bot generated racially diverse Nazis
“We said DIE, not DEI”, said a Nazi spokesperson