Introducing: Azhar's Etymology
Three stories about the origin of words
The history of language is fascinating. Today, instead of monologue jokes, I’ve decided to send you three stories about the history of words that we all know. I’m really excited about this one. Let me know what you think!
The Prince’s Offense
Once upon a time, a king had a son - a prince who was the rightful heir to the throne. The kingdom yearned to catch a glimpse of their future ruler but the king would never bring him to court. He was hidden from the public eye. One day, a curious scribe found the prince locked in the palace’s dungeon. By all measures, the prince seemed worthy of the court. He was well groomed, dressed as royalty, and he carried himself with the elegance of a nobleman. Except, the prince had... four.. PAWS. Panicked, the scribe ran away from the monster cosplaying as an elegant man. Rumors spread that the king had spawn a four paw-n. Every one called the prince Four Paw. Four Paw. Panic turned into rumors which eventually gave way to a rebellion. Aristocrats couldn’t believe they were expected to rub elbows with this grotesque monster. The king had a difficult choice to make. In order to protect his kingdom and to preserve the elegance of the throne, the king had his prince killed. Ever since then, an offense to polite society has been known as a Four Paw. And that is what we know today as a faux pas.
The Revenge
Merriam and Webster had a sister, Etta, who wanted to work with them on the dictionary but she was a middle child so her desires were as pointless as binoculars during a solar eclipse. Some say she couldn't leave her past behind because she turned her trauma into a career and became a historian. While her siblings published books transcribing the English language, she dedicated her life to understanding the history of the people who use language. Years passed and when Merriam and Webster did too, Etta upstaged her deceased siblings by bringing history to language - the revenge of a lifetime. Instead of making a dictionary, she created a scientific study of the origin of language. Just like her siblings, she named it after herself. She called her science, Etta-mology. And that is what we know today as Etymology.
The Man on a Hill
Once upon a time, there was a man named Patrick who lived on top of a hill. The hill went on for miles and every day, the man made an arduous trek up and down the treacherous forest to earn a living in the village that sat in the valley. The only company he had on those daily hikes was his own mind. Slowly but loudly, he developed a speech impediment repeating nonsensical words over and over again to keep him company on his daily trips. His solitude, strange dormitory, and speech impediment attracted no suitors. But love is like the invention of electricity, it finds you in the darkest hour with a light brighter than you could ever imagine. Patrick met a woman who climbed the other side of the hill to meet him. They married and had four children. He continued walking up and down the hill and he continued repeating words but now they started making sense and became predictable. He lived a long and happy life and when the end came, he just asked that his ashes be rolled down the side of the hill. His eldest son took the last remains of his father to the top of the hill and rolled the container down. Momentum took over and the ashes rolled faster and faster until they passed the valley and up the adjacent hill. Then the ashes rolled back down, back to the valley and up the hill to the home where the man used to live. Patrick's urn kept repeating itself just like he did. Patt’s urn kept repeating itself. And that is what we know today as a pattern.
